what is love but the strangest of feelings?

I feel so alone and misunderstood by nobody but myself. I feel as though I know nothing about who I am. I often don't even know what I feel about certain things. I sometimes find myself asking over and over again. Questioning to find the answer but never succeeding. I am lost and can never make up my mind. Who am I? I sometimes feel that I am up to nobody's standards; mine or anybody elses. I wonder who I should be. What seems appealing to others. And only sometimes do I feel whole and want to break out but everytime I try to speak -I feel ashamed, not confident, unimportant, just minute- and my voice gets lost. And once again, I wonder.

you are nobody till somebody loves you

Well, here is just another post of all the things I would really like to own... and can't afford! Terribly sorry for lack of updates but I just never know what to write. Not a terribly interesting person I would say. Perhaps I could post some looks but my camera is not the best and I really would not want you to have nightmares. I wish I had a good camera that I could take inspiring photos with- but that's out. Any suggestions as to what I could write? I am so lost!

Certainty

With every step we take, we plunge into the darkness. Waiting for a sign to tell us if we won or if we lost. If we are closer or farther away. If we are right or if we are wrong. Nothing is for certain and that what makes life a game of chance. We will never know if what we are doing is for the best or is just senseless. But we do know for certain that when we do something that pleases the self, we are winning half of the battle. Even though we may mess up, we can come out with a sense of satisfaction and gratitude. We were certain in our selves and in our mind set that we have moved two steps towards the goal. The rest does not matter; so what if the decision was wrong and we were made to step back? We learned from it and from ourselves. No matter how many times we mess up, when we make decisions that make us happy; we will always end up one step ahead than the last time.

Shoes

Below are some shoes that I am dieing to purchase! I love them! I really am interested in neutral colors and black! I love black! Wedges, shoes with buckles, vintage shoes, biker boots are my favorite type of shoes. Wish i could afford them! Its going to suck next year more because i am going to University and all my money will go down the drain! Not that i can afford to buy them now.. Too much want! What things are on your list? What are your favorite shoes? I'm dieing to hear :)

Awakening

So, yesterday i had watched the movie entitled "Awakenings." Its a movie based on a true story where a doctor discovers the beneficial effects of the then-new drug called L-Dopa. He then administrated it to catatonic patients who survived the 1917-1928 epidemic of encephalitis lethargica. The patients then start to awake from the catatonic state they have been in for years and finally begin to walk, talk and just live. This film was really moving and i cried on several occasions. It really opens up yours eyes and makes you appreciate what you have. Deeply moved me and if you like these type of movies, I suggest it to you. I believe it made my all time favorite movies list.

"His gaze is from the passing of bars so exhausted, that it doesn't hold a thing anymore. For him, it's as if there were thousands of bars and behind the thousands of bars no world. The sure stride of lithe, powerful steps, that around the smallest of circles turns, is like a dance of pure energy about a center, in which a great will stands numbed. Only occasionally, without a sound, do the covers of the eyes slide open-. An image rushes in, goes through the tensed silence of the frame- only to vanish, forever, in the heart."


smile and enjoy the simple things in life.

Color

Lately I've been wanting to try out some new nail polish. The colors of nudes and pastels that appeared on the 2010 runway are my all time favorite. I can't wait to try them out. Below are some colors I want to buy:

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How Simple...

Well, today I had gotten the chance to finally see one of my very good friends. We walked home together and because of the scorching hot day; we got ice cream. After just simply walking, laughing, enjoying our sugary goodness and tanning under the hot sun; it really hit me how little one needs for happiness. To be genuinely happy we need so very little; love, laughs, adventure. Just a smile, a good word. Yet all we do, as humans, is ask for things. Wanting. Always. Weather it may be materialistic or physical. We always require something to make us happy. Well, what we think will make us happy, not what actually does. Just walking along the hot pavement with the bright sun in our eyes; I felt content. Just talking about life and making jokes; I felt happy. As If I didn't want anything more; just a friend. And laughter. How ridiculously simple.

I got the shoes!

So, I had just come back from doing a little shopping with one of my very dear friends and made an amazing purchase. I got these wonderful shoes that I had literally wanted forever and ever! To be honest they are a little hard to walk in and a little high but how i adore them! They are so wonderfully Victorian which i love so much. Can't wait to pair them with the outfits i have lined up. Have you lately made any wonderful purchases?/What are you going to buy next?



Next for me(hopefully!):