And I just can't contain, This feeling that remains

Recently I have had the opportunity to read a novella for my English class. We had many different choices to choose from but I finally picked "Death in Venice" by a German author; Thomas Mann. It was revealed to the world in 1912 and by 1925 was translated to English. Now normally I would never pick up a book like this, not because it isn't good but because I have never, ever read a classic and perhaps considered them "boring." Now yes, I am very ashamed of the fact I have never read a book by a world-renowned author or thought that these books would not be something I particularity like. But honestly; how wrong was I! So entirely, completely, wholly and solely wrong! First of all, let me tell you what the book is about. It is basically a story of two extremes which are containment versus passion. In this story, a German writer who lives for art but never feels it, visits Venice and becomes a different man. He is changed as his curbed passion is unleashed when he encounters a young boy and falls in love with him. Now returning to the "I wouldn't normally read it" as some parts of the novel are odd as it contains a pedophile idea but gratefully not any acting upon those ideas. I have never read a book which has this type of idea as it particularity scares me. But what was fascinating about this book was not only how well it was written but also, how intriguing the concept was. The exploration of the two extremes were done particularity well and really made you wonder what the character was thinking. In the end, I was grateful that I had picked this book as I found it a very interesting experience and unearthed my fascination/obsession with literature. What are your favorite books and why? I would love to know!

good bye babe, see you again someday

Today was the last day of high school. It feels so surreal to be done in such a short period of time it seems. It has been three years and yet, I feel as if a moment simply flew by. On one hand I am entirely happy that it is done as new journeys await but at the same time I don't want to lose my youth, my innocence. I don't want to gain responsibility which I feel I am entirely unprepared for. You have to start depending on no one but yourself but I feel as if all my life I have depended on everyone around me.I feel as if I break down when no one is there to help me. I guess I am not entirely shocked at the fact change will soon come my way but I am just amazed at the speed of time. One day we are youngsters running around with our friends and then we grow up to be adults with no friends whatsoever... Haha... Seriously, its not funny. I have no friends. But this is not the point of the blog post. I just want to urge everyone to go out and be crazy, be funny, be studious, just be you while you have the time! I don't have the guts to be any of that, for now i hope at least, but just think about how fast the speed of time is. Do something now so you won't regret it later. People are people. People are supposed to live and as we all have a different definition of what a "good life" is, why are we so scared? Are we scared of judgment or of our selves? Are we scared of the barriers or our capability? Just by being you, you are not only making yourself much happier but also, you will meet people who have similar interests. People who you enjoy being around with. Just do it. Anything and everything. Six little but most powerful words; Do. It. Be. It. Why Not?

Izzue SS'10 - Mathilde Frachon

pht: kim jakobsen to.

what is love but the strangest of feelings?

I feel so alone and misunderstood by nobody but myself. I feel as though I know nothing about who I am. I often don't even know what I feel about certain things. I sometimes find myself asking over and over again. Questioning to find the answer but never succeeding. I am lost and can never make up my mind. Who am I? I sometimes feel that I am up to nobody's standards; mine or anybody elses. I wonder who I should be. What seems appealing to others. And only sometimes do I feel whole and want to break out but everytime I try to speak -I feel ashamed, not confident, unimportant, just minute- and my voice gets lost. And once again, I wonder.

you are nobody till somebody loves you

Well, here is just another post of all the things I would really like to own... and can't afford! Terribly sorry for lack of updates but I just never know what to write. Not a terribly interesting person I would say. Perhaps I could post some looks but my camera is not the best and I really would not want you to have nightmares. I wish I had a good camera that I could take inspiring photos with- but that's out. Any suggestions as to what I could write? I am so lost!

Certainty

With every step we take, we plunge into the darkness. Waiting for a sign to tell us if we won or if we lost. If we are closer or farther away. If we are right or if we are wrong. Nothing is for certain and that what makes life a game of chance. We will never know if what we are doing is for the best or is just senseless. But we do know for certain that when we do something that pleases the self, we are winning half of the battle. Even though we may mess up, we can come out with a sense of satisfaction and gratitude. We were certain in our selves and in our mind set that we have moved two steps towards the goal. The rest does not matter; so what if the decision was wrong and we were made to step back? We learned from it and from ourselves. No matter how many times we mess up, when we make decisions that make us happy; we will always end up one step ahead than the last time.

Shoes

Below are some shoes that I am dieing to purchase! I love them! I really am interested in neutral colors and black! I love black! Wedges, shoes with buckles, vintage shoes, biker boots are my favorite type of shoes. Wish i could afford them! Its going to suck next year more because i am going to University and all my money will go down the drain! Not that i can afford to buy them now.. Too much want! What things are on your list? What are your favorite shoes? I'm dieing to hear :)

Awakening

So, yesterday i had watched the movie entitled "Awakenings." Its a movie based on a true story where a doctor discovers the beneficial effects of the then-new drug called L-Dopa. He then administrated it to catatonic patients who survived the 1917-1928 epidemic of encephalitis lethargica. The patients then start to awake from the catatonic state they have been in for years and finally begin to walk, talk and just live. This film was really moving and i cried on several occasions. It really opens up yours eyes and makes you appreciate what you have. Deeply moved me and if you like these type of movies, I suggest it to you. I believe it made my all time favorite movies list.

"His gaze is from the passing of bars so exhausted, that it doesn't hold a thing anymore. For him, it's as if there were thousands of bars and behind the thousands of bars no world. The sure stride of lithe, powerful steps, that around the smallest of circles turns, is like a dance of pure energy about a center, in which a great will stands numbed. Only occasionally, without a sound, do the covers of the eyes slide open-. An image rushes in, goes through the tensed silence of the frame- only to vanish, forever, in the heart."


smile and enjoy the simple things in life.